Weeds grow automatically
I was listening to a podcast about a week back (I can’t remember which one), and one thing that was said stood out…
“Weeds grow automatically”
It struck me as something that’s true of life, isn’t it? Even if we do nothing, there will be stuff around us that is pure crap. It just happens, doesn’t it? We didn’t ask for it, did nothing to make it happen, yet it’s there… staring at us in the face.
Now what?
A lot of us choose to be pissed off at it. Some even carry those weeds with them and pass them out at work or in a family setting. We’re just so angry that we have to deal with something we didn’t ask for in the first place.
My recommendation: Just pull them out and toss them away.
Recognize that these stupid things don’t deserve a place in your life and discard them. The last thing you want to do is to give them life by extending their lifespan.
Sure, it takes effort in yanking them out of your life, but isn’t it worth it? Isn’t is worth it to deal with them briefly and have them out of your life rather than have them rule your life?
It’s pretty easy… as long as you want them out. It’s tough, if you want to carry them.
The Warrior
Read MoreGoing for Minimalism – For all the wrong reasons
In January, I decided I was going for a minimalistic lifestyle. I had read a lot about the subject and was impressed with what I saw. It appealed to me on just so many levels.
So I decided to take the leap of faith. I knew I didn’t have all the facts, but I had a good feeling about this.
The simple life… less choices… focus on things that really matter, not materialistic things. Learn to let go…
All these words were swirling in my head as I decided to take the plunge. After all, what can go wrong? Right?
“My wardrobe is going Minimal, Baby!”, I proudly announced to my wife one Sunday morning. It took her about 30 minutes to realize that I was serious about this one.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked nervously. “You know you have some very nice clothes in there”.
“I’m sure” I replied with a quiet confidence.
Unfortunately, that’s where the easy part ended. After emptying out my entire closet and dumping everything on the bed, I stared at disbelief at just how much stuff I had! Nice stuff, mind you… but a lot of it. A lot!
I pulled out the index card I had prepared with much enthusiasm. It had on it the list of things that would be in my “new” wardrobe. For a few minutes, all I did was look at the list and then stare at disbelief at the mountain on clothes in front of me. How the heck am I going to choose?
My List:
- T-Shirts – 5 (I had 68) This includes workout gear
- Jeans – 3 (I had 22)
- Shirts – 3 (I had 27)
- Trousers – 3 (I had 14)
- Hoodies – 1 (I had 6)
- Jackets – 2 (I had 8)
- Ties – 5 (I had 46)
- Sneakers – 2 (I had 7)
- Underwear and socks – Not even going there!
You can now see why my circuits were overloading…
Not going to bore you with the details, but long story short, I did it. And yes, there was screaming involved – “Yaaaaaa! I can’t give this up!!!!!”. I kept muttering to myself “Why the F**k did I think this was a good idea?”
Once done, all the old clothes and shoes went into suitcases & garbage bags and were packed off to the basement. The select few that made the cut were lovingly put back into the closet.
I stepped back and looked at my new wardrobe. This is where it gets weird. I was anticipating a sense of deprivation… A sense of losing something. Instead, this feeling of calm swept over me. I can’t explain why. It was a like a load had been lifted from my shoulders. “Payoff #1” I thought to myself.
“What are you going to do with the 80% of the space you now have?” asked my wife.
“You take it.”
Squeals of delight followed as she rushed in to claim the space before i changed my mind on this minimalism thing. She was in a happy mood for days after. Payoff #2.
I swear to God, 10 minutes later, her clothes were all over the space where mine had been… and her closet still looked just as jam-packed as it was before! Unbelievable!
Frankly, I didn’t think this would last. But in the months that have gone by, I’ve become really comfortable with the new size of my wardrobe. It doesn’t bother me anymore. In fact, I’ve lost the desire to walk into shops at malls to see clothes because I know I can’t buy anything. I’ve saved a lot of money there. Payoff # 3.
But the biggest payoff has been the effect on my mind. I don’t like having too many choices. I don’t have to wrestle with the thought “What do I wear today? I think it’s allowed me to take one thing out of the daily equation of making choices. And the realization that I’m living a simpler life makes me happier… at least when it comes to clothing. Payoff #4.
It’s a small step. But I’m glad I took it. I hope to extend it as I go along.
Why don’t you give it a shot. What do you have to lose? Letting go can be a good thing.
The Warrior
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2014 – What does it mean to you?
I resisted the urge to write this post in the beginning of the year. I had two good reasons for it:
- There was already way too much noise on the “Interwebs”. Nothing that I would say would make an impact.
- I thought I’ll write this at the end of Jan after the euphoria of the new year has worn out and people have settled into their lives.
Like everyone, the beginning of a new year is a magical time. It brings with it the promise of a new start, a chance to let go of the past, and to make a real, permanent change in our lives for the better.
“I’ll get in shape this year”, “I’ll quit smoking”, “I’ll get a new job”, “I’ll spend more time with the family”, “I’ll be a better person”…. The list can go on. Hop across to 43Things.com and you’ll see that we all pretty much want the same thing. But there’s one that I don’t see very much…
I’ll come home.
No, not physically. I’m talking about bringing your mind home.
If you’re anything like me and millions of others, you’ll see that our minds haven’t been home for the longest time. Mine certainly hasn’t. It has wandered off to a million places over the past 2 decades.Here’s where my mind has been:
- It has travelled far for work
- Been to some nasty places in relationships
- Been under a ton of stress while raising kids
- Has been engulfed with the desire for money, success, career, achievement
But here’s the thing… We didn’t really send it to any of those places to begin with. We just woke up one fine morning and it was gone. In the beginning, we didn’t even miss it. And a short while later, we forgot about it. A decade later, we decided “this is how life worked; after all, kids leave home, right? So what’s wrong with the mind leaving home? That’s how things are supposed to work.”
Another decade goes by and we begin to miss it. We coin a new term for the time when it was home. “The good ol’ days” is one that pops up most frequently.
But the one we stick with is “The end of our childhood“.
I spent a fair bit of time thinking about this and came to the realization that we’re deluding ourselves. There’s no finality to our childhood. Or that magical time? Who said there was? On what authority? Or have we simply absolved ourselves of the responsibility for what happens to us on to something “external”…. Something that’s not in our control.
That’s bullshit.
I’m not saying that it’s our fault for letting it go. Not at all. I’m saying we have a responsibility to ourselves to bring it back.
2013 was a tough year for me. Pretty much nothing went right. My personal life, relationships, work life, finances all took a hammering. That’s fine. I’m not complaining. If I’ve had some good times in my life, it’s only fair to expect some bad times. Despite understanding this very clearly, I was surprised that I was angry… a lot! And I don’t normally get angry; I’m not that kind of a guy. I had to figure out where this anger was coming from.
I started thinking about this in late November. I figured I’d have this licked in a month.
I was totally wrong.
December came to a close and I was nowhere close to identifying what I wanted from the next year and what to do with my disturbed mindset. If anything, I was getting angry about not being able to figure out what made me angry. Does that make sense to you?
As January began, I began to calm down and things started registering in my mind. My problem was less to do with my circumstances and more to do with the fact that I was identifying myself with them. I was “becoming” my circumstances. Here was the problem! It became clear that one question needed to be answered:
When was the last time I was truly happy with myself as a person? Not any attributes such as money, career, health… but MYSELF?
I pushed the rewind button… kept it pressed as I went back a decade… and then it became clear that the last time I was happy with who I was was when I was a kid… Maybe 16 or 17. I was fearless. I was optimistic. I was bulletproof. And then, of course, life happened and I allowed myself to be consumed by it.
I don’t know what it will take but I will make sure that this year I travel back in time to find myself and to bring myself home. My instincts tell me that I’m going to have to take some big chances, perhaps even appear crazy to other people. But I’ve spent the past 29 years being like other people and how’s that turned out for me?
So till I try, I’ll never know. Starting this morning… the journey begins.
I’ve been scared of doing a few things… mostly avoiding relationships that may result in conflict. I’m touching base with those people today assuming the conflict doesn’t even exist. It’s what I would have done when I was 16.
If you’ve had any success at this, I’d be happy to know. Leave your comments in the box below.
Thanks
The Warrior
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