Are you really in love? Try passing the acid test !

Are you really in love? Try passing the acid test !

I was listening to the Dhamma Podcast recently and what was said about love really got me thinking. In a sense, I already knew much of it (and agreed with it as well), but what was remarkable was it presented certain concepts that made me sit up and take notice.

So you say that there’s a person in your life that you love more than anything else in the World – even more than yourself. You say that all you really want is for that other person to be happy. That’s all fine and good, except that your statement may not pass the acid test. As far as he’s concerned, he just loves you for what you are, no matter what you do.

So lets take the test, shall we? Lets say you’re in a relationship (married or otherwise) and one fine day, you find that your significant other has run away with the mailman. Are you happy? If you really love that person, then you should be happy for her because now she’s clearly more happy than she was before. In 99.9% of the cases, you’re not going to be celebrating this event.

So what that really means is that we tend to love ourselves more than pretty much anything else. We love the people around us, our friends, family and our possessions… but we love them for ourselves.

So what is so wrong with this equation, you might ask ! Nothing, really, but I do believe that there is a higher form of love…. a higher platform that we can reach. And once we reach this platform, the way we look at people, relationships and possessions completely changes.

Ironically, we can learn this best from those we don’t give much credit for intelligence – dogs and babies.

Take your dog for instance. Each day, when you come back from school or work, this little fellow will run towards you, jump all over you, and makes no bones about how delighted he is to see you. He doesn’t care about the way you look, or dress. He doesn’t care how much money you have or what you do for a living. He doesn’t even care to remember how nasty and indifferent you might have been to him a day earlier. He’s just happy to see you, no matter who you are and what you do.

Can you remember the last time you did that with anyone? When it didn’t matter what they did or said… when your love was unconditional in every sense of the word?

Through the ages, the strongest bond has been between a mother and her newborn baby (even in the animal world). Why? that’s because the mother will love her child regardless of how the child looks, or behaves. I have yet to see a mother say to her baby – “If you crap more than 3 times today, I’m not going to hold you”. Childbirth is a difficult process, and even after the child arrives, there are some huge sacrifices and pains that the mother endures. Yet, each of those sacrifices endears her to her baby even more.

The strongest relationships are those that are forged on unconditional love… that you can say “I will love you no matter what you say or do”. When it isn’t important for the other person to respond or reciprocate… when you’re happy simply because the other person is happy… when you can finally let go and still be happy. I call this selfless love. And in my opinion, its the most powerful love of all.

Can you imagine the sense of security the other person feels when they receive this kind of love? The freedom of being loved unconditionally. Living without fear of retribution or rejection yet having someone else celebrating every moment of your life as if it were their own?

Think about it. Want to take it a step further? How can you apply the same knowledge to yourself – I mean loving YOURSELF unconditionally. Learning to forgive yourself and accepting yourself completely. I can say a lot on the subject, but I’ll leave that for another day.

Till next time, have a wonderful life.

The Warrior

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